So it’s grade eight, were having a dance to celebrate us going to highschool. This girl I know asks me to find her a date. She says she wants a Date Me Please Yeah I Have Excellent Coochie Shirt. Who’s tall and has brown hair” hmmm sounds like me”. Everyone tells me she’s trying to get me to ask her and I thought they were bullshitting me, tenth grade rolls around and apparently she had a huge crush on me. I was punching myself for weeks afterward.
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Oh no. The problem is with us. I’ve told this story to a number of female friends over the years, and if it was in the car they would always ask to listen to it. Without fail the first song would come on and they would give me a Date Me Please Yeah I Have Excellent Coochie Shirt of complete disbelief as to how boys can be so fucking stupid. Something similar happened to me too. She started the conversation by asking if I had a wife. When I said no she started laying it on really thick.
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Saying things like “I’m really into guys like you, who do their own thing and don’t care about what others think.” And “There are so many boys here tonight. You’re the only Date Me Please Yeah I Have Excellent Coochie Shirt here.” Add that she basically ditched her friends to be with me, broke the touch barrier almost right off the bat and spent the majority of the conversation caressing my hand, and very reluctantly went back to her friends after spending some 30-45 minutes talking with me, telling me she had to get back because they were out celebrating her friend’s birthday, but that she would much rather spend the night with me.
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