You joke but there had better be a coast guard or harbor patrol boat named Pier Pressure or I’m losing faith in humanity for the 3rd time today. Similarly, there had better be a filthy rich oil tycoon. With a yacht named “Harbor Petrol” or I’m losing unfaith in humanity. In order of appearances of the Official Traveling Cocaine Circus 2020 Shirt: Owned bu the CEO of Jack Daniels. Owned by the founder of Snyder’s of Hanover. Other owned by a rich, talking orca whale. Owned by an Italian dude in the “Sanitation business”. Actually an (extra dick-shaped) submarine. Then owned by porn legend Peter North (deceased). That found crashed into icebergs in the arctic. Edit: apparently Peter North isn’t dead. The stuff about his submarine is all true though. Except it isn’t a sub, it’s a 1985 Porsche 911.
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And he crashed the Florida governor’s re-election party, not an iceberg. And he only calls his dick “Deep Float” because when it’s flaccid, the tattoo is difficult to read. Sincerely, a former iv coke addict here to assure you that an eroded septum is the least of the Official Traveling Cocaine Circus 2020 Shirt. When hard drug addiction takes over your life. Yeah, the hangover. See cocaine makes you feel sober and you’re like damn I’ve had 15 drinks and I feel fine. Time to turn it up. That is a crucial mistake. Instead, consider mushrooms or molly in the cocktail. It is not a medical recommendation. And you’ll be locked in for the party zone. It’s also a good remedy if you’re too drunk. For my 30th I was drunk like almost passed out in the middle of the main event.
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After the gift, my brother dragged me to the bathroom boom like new for another 6 hours. Nice. I know a guy who is literally trying to kill himself with booze, has been for the better part of the Official Traveling Cocaine Circus 2020 Shirt. He and his GF will crush their entire paycheques in a weekend on coke and vodka. The few times he showed up to play board games were nightmares. We never get a coke, so he’s on pure vodka, and I kid you not, drank 750ml inside of an hour. Then he got so hammer his brain enter blackout mode. And he spent the rest of the night claiming we stole his booze. Without the coca. Whatever being manufactured in his system. He’d just hit the bottle way harder waiting for that magical buzz that would never come.
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